


If I Could Tell Him (How He's Everything to Me)

by sppacecowboyy



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Crushes, Cute, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Idiots in Love, In a way, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Kinda, Lance is soft, Langst, Light Angst, Love Confessions, Mostly Fluff, OR IS IT, One Shot, Pining, Pining Lance (Voltron), Rants, Secret Crush, Unrequited Love, but lance doesn't know that, it's not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-05 12:42:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15863841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sppacecowboyy/pseuds/sppacecowboyy
Summary: Lance finds Kosmo wandering around one day and decides to give him a bath. A-la the space mice scene, he ends up venting about Feelings™ with the wolf, particularly about one specific fellow paladin.





	If I Could Tell Him (How He's Everything to Me)

**Author's Note:**

> technically i wrote this as a companion piece to my fic [5 Times Lance Accidentally Confessed His Love for Keith (and One Time Keith Did)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15772419/chapters/36690837) but you can most definitely read this as a standalone and also the chapter it's gonna be a reference to won't be up till tomorrow anyway so...enjoy?

The trip back home from their string of diplomatic missions a few solar systems over was taking a little longer than expected. Well no, actually they were perfectly on schedule. The Atlas was a good ship and she had a good crew, and things were running pretty smoothly, especially for space. But that meant there wasn't really much to do, which meant Lance was more than a little bored, and that was making the trip feel like forever.

He and Pidge had plans to play some video games in the rec room later, but she was still asleep, and waking her up was a death wish. And Hunk was working a shift in the ship's cafeteria--completely voluntarily, even--so Lance could bother him for a few tics at best before Hunk would have to get back to work. Allura and Coran were both working on the bridge, so he couldn't drag either of them into hanging out with him either. And naturally the training room was closed today for maintenance, which meant he couldn't even go hang out in there.

He wasn't sure where Romelle was. Or Keith. They couldn't both be busy, right?

That in mind he set out into the ships halls hoping to find one or the other of them. Instead he found, two steps out of his door, Kosmo the Space Dog. Sitting in the hallway staring at Lance's door, like he'd been waiting for Lance to step out of it or something.

"Oh, hey buddy," Lance said, instinctively kneeling down to scratch behind Kosmo's ears. "You haven't seen Keith or Romelle around anywhere, have you?"

As expected, Kosmo just blinked silently back at him. He supposed it would've been weirder if he'd gotten a response.

Lance shrugged, pushing himself back up into a standing position. He glanced both directions down the hallway before deciding to go right, towards the rec room. If anyone was as bored as him, they'd probably be there. Before he started walking he looked to Kosmo and said, "I bet you're just as bored as me. Wanna come looking for something to do with me? Maybe we could teach you fetch or something..."

He trailed off as he started down the hallway, and when he glanced over his shoulder Kosmo had gotten up to follow behind him.

When they got to the rec room, though, it was completely empty. Someone had left the t.v. screen on, it was playing some reality show that Lance had never seen. He figured it must've been an old episode though, because they definitely didn't get any stations from all the way out here.

With a heavy sigh, Lance dropped onto the couch, propping his legs up on the coffee table in front of him as he did. Kosmo hopped up on the couch next to him, resting his front paws on Lance's leg. Absentmindedly, Lance ran a hand over Kosmo's fur. For a big cosmic wolf that looked kind of like something out of Pokemon, he sure acted like a regular Earth dog. "Guess it's just you and me, buddy. What d'you wanna do?"

He looked down at Kosmo, as if expecting a verbal reply. The response he got was just that Kosmo leaned a little into Lance's hand. Which was when Lance noticed that, while very soft, Kosmo's fur was kind of dirty. He said, "Hey, I know. Think you could use a bath?"

Kosmo didn't look convinced.

"It'll be fun," Lance said. He imagined if wolves had eyebrows, Kosmo would just raise one at him in disbelief. "It'll be like a spa day. Very relaxing."

He still wasn't getting any sort of convinced expression from the wolf, but one tic they were sitting in the rec room, and then they were suddenly in the bathroom connected to Lance's quarters. He figured that was as much of a confirmation someone could hope to get from an intergalactic teleporting wolf, so he stood up and starting rooting around the cabinets for a brush he could use. 

Once he'd found one and walked back over to where Kosmo was sitting patiently on the floor, kneeling down in front of him and holding it out for Kosmo to inspect. While Kosmo sniffed the bristles Lance explained, "We gotta comb through those knots first, otherwise they'll just get more tangled when we shampoo."

Kosmo seemed satisfied with the explanation; assuming the wolf could actually understand anything Lance was saying, because he leaned forward towards Lance.

"You should tell Keith to brush you more," Lance said after the brush snagged slightly on a small mat in the fur. He made a mental note to offer Keith the brush later, knowing Kosmo wasn't that likely to suddenly start talking one day just to ask Keith for a grooming session. As he combed around Kosmo's neck Lance rambled, "He forgets the little things like that, y'know he just gets so wrapped up in his head, missions and training. You just gotta give him a little nudge sometimes. Sometimes I think he might forget to eat if he didn't have us."

"Anyway, you look like he remembers to feed you alright," Lance went on, scootching to the side a little to get a better angle to comb the brush over Kosmo's side. "Unless you feed yourself or something. I mean, you do know where the kitchen is...You seem pretty smart, I dunno."

Kosmo shot Lance a moderately disapproving look, and Lance shrugged back.

"How'd you meet Keith, anyway? I bet it was when you were smaller. You two seem pretty tight," he said. Not that he was necessarily expecting a reply, in fact he'd probably be pretty weirded out if he got a verbal response. Far be it from him to assume he knew anything about cosmic kanines, but up until then Kosmo hadn't so much as barked, so Lance thought it wasn't too far of a leap to assume the wolf couldn't talk. Still, most of his behavior made Lance think he understood when people spoke to him. "I bet Keith likes you so much cuz you're both so Strong Silent Type. Or because you look like a Pokemon, and I bet he's secretly a major nerd for that type of thing. Or just 'cause you're awesome. All three maybe?"

Once he was done brushing through all of Kosmo's fur, Lance got up and set the brush down on the counter. Then he walked over to the tub, turning on the water and flipping the little switch to close off the drain.

While he waited for the water to fill, he slipped into the next room over to change into a pair of shorts, and maybe a t-shirt he cared less about. He spoke over his shoulder as he dug around in his drawers in search for the change of clothes, just assuming Kosmo would be listening as he said, "You might know Keith even better than me, actually. Y'know, just cuz you spend so much time with him. Is he as secretly nerdy as I think he is?"

He headed back into the bathroom, shutting off the tap as he passed by--the water level was just under halfway, which he figured was enough. Kosmo watched him silently as he opened the cabinet door to search for some shampoo.

Obviously Lance didn't just have dog shampoo lying around in his bathroom cabinets, but he figured human shampoo would do the trick just fine. So he grabbed a bottle and walked back over to the tub, setting it down on the tile in front and kneeling down to stick his hand tentatively into the water, checking the temperature. Then he stood back up and said, "Water's fine. Hop right in."

He really couldn't know whether Kosmo was being a smartass or not when he literally bounded into the tub, but his energy radiated sass as a splash of water erupted from the tub. Lance couldn't help but laugh, even as Kosmo tilted his head to the side at him in confusion.

"Okay, time for shampoo," Lance said, stepping into the tub after the wolf and sitting down on the edge. He reached behind him and picked up the shampoo bottle, untwisting the cap one-handedly and tossing it casually aside. "Actually, I'm kinda jealous, you get to see Keith all the time, huh? He's always so busy, and even when he does hang out with us I feel like he's holding back. I dunno, maybe he's just  _really_ introverted. But it'd be nice if we got to see him more, y'know?" 

Kosmo blinked.

Lance poured some shampoo into the palm of his hands, setting the bottle down next to him on the edge of the tub. "Actually, I bet he's a lotta fun when he figures out how to just relax. He can be pretty funny when he's not all Serious Emo."

"Like that time we had the snowball fight in space. They weren't snow, but you get the point," Lance said, smiling fondly at the memory as he massaged the shampoo into Kosmo's fur. He started with the ears. "Or way early on, when we got in that food fight with the food goo. He actually visited my room in the hospital back on Earth, too, even though he was in the hospital too. Keith thinks I don't know, cuz I was asleep when he came in. But my mom told me he came by. Poor guy didn't know you can't trust her with a secret."

He had to pour some more shampoo onto his hands once he got to Kosmo's shoulders, absentmindedly setting the bottle back down on the tiles just outside the tub.

Covering the wolf's black and blue fur with pinkish colored suds, Lance went on, "What I'm trying to say is, Keith's a cool guy. I dunno why I'm trying to tell you this, you probably already know. I mean, I really think he's the only one who doesn't know."

"I mean, he comes off as all prickly sometimes." Lance paused a second to tease apart a little knot he found in Kosmo's fur then, before returning to scrubbing in the shampoo. He was barely even aware of the smile on his own face as he continued. "But his heart's in the right place, he just doesn't know how to communicate that well. But I think he thinks people won't like him because of that, so he closes himself off before he can even give them a chance, and then they don't get to give him a chance. Which is a bummer, because I know if everyone got to see the Keith I see--the one his friends see, I mean--then everyone would love him."

Again, Kosmo just blinked wordlessly at him.

He wasn't sure if he was just reading intelligence or emotion into those quiet stares or if they were actually there, but he got the distinct feeling that Kosmo was not only listening to everything he was saying, but understanding it as well. Which was...nice. It felt good to be listened to, even if he was just rambling.

"Not that I'm saying that I love him," Lance adjusted quickly. "I'm just saying if people gave Keith a chance, and if he gave them one, I don't think he'd be so lonely. He does seem lonely, right? That's not just me?"

Lance thought he might've been reading expression that wasn't there, but he could've sworn that Kosmo gave him a small nod. "But y'know, it's just because they don't see the same Keith you and me do. Most people just see the hotheaded side, they don't stop to think that all that fire comes from actually  _caring_ a whole lot about stuff. And they don't get to see how brave he is, because they're too busy writing him off as impulsive. And sure he's a little too impulsive to be a great strategist, but he's actually really smart. If he were just able to slow things down a little, I think he'd be a lot better at strategy."

He screwed the cap back onto the shampoo bottle then, reaching for the shower head and turning it on to a lower level to rinse the shampoo out of Kosmo's fur. He said over the sound of running water, "But my real problem is,  _Keith_ doesn't even see all that."

"Keith doesn't see his own courage, cuz to him he's just doing what's right. And he doesn't see how smart he is, cuz he never stops to think. Like, ever," Lance said, switching the shower head back off once all the shampoo was out of Kosmo's fur. He quickly headed back over to the cabinet to grab the conditioner, twisting the cap off that to restart the process. He sat back down by Kosmo and went on absentmindedly, "And he doesn't see his own smile--you know, the one he's always trying to hide. So of course he doesn't know how...I dunno, special I guess...that smile makes you feel when it's directed at  _you."_

Kosmo, as ever, remained silent.

In the absence of anyone interrupting him, Lance just continued to ramble, "He doesn't see how his determination makes the rest of the team wanna work even harder, too. Or how his courage makes some of us feel braver. Or how funny he can be, when he wants to be. Or how, impossibly, a mullet actually looks kind of not terrible on him. Maybe a little cool. Or that he's just, like, a total badass."

"And it's not like I can tell him any of that," Lance said, massaging the conditioner in the fur around Kosmo's shoulders. He moved up to do the same for his ears, and sighed under his breath. "I dunno, I know we're on the same ship and all. But sometimes it kinda feels like we're galaxies away from each other."

Lance paused then, glancing over at Kosmo before glancing away, frowning as a sudden thought struck him. "Oh, quiznack. I do love him, don't I?"

No, he couldn't. The timing was terrible. He was just starting to fix their friendship from the whole 'rival' thing he'd made up back at the garrison, they were just starting to be bros. But now that he'd put the thought out there in the open, it really did seem like the only explanation. For the way Lance felt like he'd just done something good for the karma of the universe any time he made Keith laugh, or why he'd found himself sitting next to Keith without even thinking at mealtimes even when there were plenty of other open chairs. It explained a lot, actually.

Momentarily forgetting that the intergalactic wolf (which his brain translated as 'big dog') in front of him was covered in soap, Lance leaned forward to wrap his arms around Kosmo's neck, burying his face in the wolf's soaking wet fur. With a self-pitying groan his said, "I love him, Kosmo. What am I supposed to do?"

"I can't love  _Keith!"_  Lance said, pulling away from the hug but leaving both hands on Kosmo's shoulders. He stared forlornly into the wolf's eyes, searching for any wisdom there he might have to offer. "He's...you know, he's  _Keith._ "

Kosmo tilted his head at him, as if asking Lance to explain.

Whether or not that was actually Kosmo's question, Lance obliged. "I don't know if he even likes guys like that, and even if he does it wouldn't be  _me_. I'm loud, and a goofball, and I never take things seriously. Keith deserves someone smarter, more determined. Someone less selfish than me. Who can be there for him anytime he needs them to be, and who can get through some of those walls he has up. I don't know how to do that, I don't even know how I would even start. And Keith deserves to be happy. He really, really does."

"Besides, what would I even say? 'Hey Keith, I think I might be in love with the way your smile looks like it made the flowers grow.' Or 'Hey Keith, I'd gross entire galaxies for you if you asked, but I'd rather we just have dinner some time so you can tell me about your day, and all your favorite things.' God, I don't even have some silly crush, do I? I really do love him. And I could never tell him," Lance said, biting his lip. He took in a couple of deep breaths before throwing himself back over Kosmo in another hug. He didn't even care about the conditioner he got in his eyes. "Oh Kosmo, what am I gonna do?"

He didn't really know how long he could've just sat there clinging pathetically to Kosmo's neck. And he wouldn't find out, because just when a single tear escaped from the corner of his eyes--because of the conditioner, of course--Kosmo started shifting under his embrace. Assuming he wanted to be let go, Lance started to pull away.

Once his face was within view, though, Kosmo stepped forward and started licking his cheeks.

That definitely wasn't the behavior Lance even expected from the stoic dog wolf, but it was just surprising enough, and it tickled just enough, that Kosmo only had to do it a few times before Lance found himself laughing again. 

"Okay, okay, you cheered me up," Lance said eventually, pushing Kosmo away.

Kosmo sat back down, tongue hanging out the side of his mouth in a smile, looking the most like an Earth dog that Lance had ever seen him. His tail was wagging, thumping every now and then against the side walls of the tub. Lance shook his head, still smiling ever so slightly, and picked the conditioner bottle back up to finish washing Kosmo's fur. As he did he said, "Thanks, Kosmo. You're a good friend."

The rest of the bath he just rambled to Kosmo about Earth's oceans, or little anecdotes of his favorite shenanigans he'd gotten up to with Pidge and Hunk. Then he got up finally and picked up the shower head one last time to rise all the conditioner out of Kosmo's fur. After that, it was just a matter of blow drying it, and giving it one more good brush.

He was combing through the fur on Kosmo's front legs when he said, "Y'know, buddy, you're a good listener. I feel a lot better."

"And you," he continued, brushing one final stroke across Kosmo's back before standing up and setting the brush down on the counter. He gestured grandly towards Kosmo and said, " _Look_ a lot better. Not that you looked bad before, but you know what I mean. Anyway, thanks for your company. And I know you kinda just teleport wherever you want already anyway, but if you're ever feeling lonely, or wanna learn to play fetch. Feel free to come find me, alright?"

Kosmo gave Lance one last doggie smile, then vanished from the room. Typical.

Lance shook his head and went to switch back into some dryer clothes, then headed towards the kitchen to make some tea. He figured he'd earned himself a mug of chamomile, after all. 

 


End file.
